est Training was the hip thing to do to find enlightenment and lead a better life. It was all about "getting it" and dealing with your own stuff without playing the victim. Instead of complaining about the traffic jam, or fighting the traffic jam, or being the victim of a traffic jam, the trick was to "make space" for the traffic jam and let it just be a traffic jam and avoid it. Then you could go a step further, and take responsibility for that traffic jam and fix it. My parents took the est training, and then signed my sister and I up for the children's training, which was a special new est training for children. The multi-day training was held in a large hotel ballroom, which was in San Jose or Palo Alto. It must have been about 1977, and the sessions were all professionally video-taped as it was one of the first (I distinctly remember cameras on tripods).
We learned how to get rid of a headache by asking questions about the headache, alternated an occasional "do you still have a headache" in there. Questions like, "if it could hold water, how much water could it hold?", "what color is it?, "what shape is it?", "Is it getting smaller", "Is it moving?", and the kicker, "Do you still have a headache?" which was repeated until you finally caved and said you didn't have a headache anymore -- this made for years of fun when anyone in our family complained about having a headache after that.
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| Vancouver Sun, 12 Jul 1980 |
There were some role-reversal songs, where the girls all sang a song about being a big tough cowboy, and the boys all sang a song about having pretty little fingers and ten little toes.
Girls sang,
Hey there broken nose, play me a tune on that there pian'y.
My name isn't broken nose.
Pow! Now it is!
Boys sang,
I've got ten little fingers, ten little toes, big brown eyes, and a turned up nose. Long wavy hair, and a cute little figure, but stay away boys 'til I get bigger!
I'm pretty sure none of the kids really wanted to be there, and the trainers definitely had to overcome that with a lighter version of the hard-core est of lore. I remember them asking if anyone wanted to leave, and at least one little boy raised his hand and was escorted out -- the rest of us shut up after that.
I suppose the children's training was supposed to get us to take more responsibility for our own lives, and not play the victim. I don't remember anything in particular about that sort of messaging, and I'm pretty sure that I wasn't "Getting It" while doing the training. However! I am fairly enlightened, so perhaps some if it did sink in somehow in an unconscious manner?
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| Anderson Herald, 16 Jan 1977 |
I am surprised to find that the est training has survived the 1970s, and is still alive and well renamed as Landmark Forum.
Stumbled upon this years after, but I too did the est training as a child. I was eleven, in Houston. My whole life the absurdity of the situation has stayed with me - a bunch of adults telling children (arguably the most restricted, disempowered group of people) to take responsibility for their own lives. Priceless. However, the experience did have two good lessons: 1) I could tell that these adults didn't know any more than I did, and 2) I became inoculated against the influence of cults for the rest of my life (so far). I hope to find more who went through est as children and hear their stories!
ReplyDeleteFor years i have been looking for other people who have been through this experience. My parents did EST in the 70's and signed my brother and i up for the children's training. As a clinical counsellor i look back on my experiences in the children's training and i am a bit distressed by this and want to understand in more depth what i experienced. I remember that i wasn't allowed to sit with my younger brother which i found upsetting because we were close and I cared deeply for his well being. I felt that we were underfed, and not provided with enough protein to sustain us throughout the duration of the training (perhaps i am not remembering this correctly) but i remember being provided with a chicken leg, a piece of cheese and a glass of water...not enough to sustain a person to be able to think and make good decisions. I remember there was a young boy in our training who shared that he had accidentally set fire to his parents home...i felt so upset by this story when I was a child (i think i was ten years old when i did the children's training). As a counsellor, i have reflecting on the impact of hearing other children's stories, maybe some trauma stories, that i may not have been adequately prepared to hear at the tender age of 10. I am a trauma therapist, and i have some concerns about having experienced the children's training. i wonder if i was dissociated for most of it because i don't have too many clear memories of it. I don't remember what happened. Please fill in the blanks for me because i have been wondering about this for years, and so has my younger brother. Cheers, Sarah
ReplyDeleteI remember that I couldn't use the restroom. I remember a couple kids running for the door and that security guards stopped them. I'm pretty sure that I was made to stand up (crying) in front of a room of about 200 kids. My memories aren't real clear.
ReplyDeleteI had that exact same experience in Houston. I couldn’t cry when standing up with the other kids who all expected to cry. I had to lick my hands secretly and then rub under my eyes. I also remember lunch was severed in white styrofoam containers and we all sat on the floor in a large square formation in the center of the conference room. The kid that wanted out was screaming and they were blocking the doors. I think they let him go eventually.
DeleteOh my gosh y’all! I am 51 years old and was (as I recall) the 1st child to take est training WITH ADULTS. My mother and my step father were so knee deep in it, I think they worked for Them or something. They were BAT shit crazy and I was neglected and mentally abused from 5 til my mom finally left him when I was in 6th grade. Oh, the stories. Oh, the counseling/therapy. That guy should be put down and shame on people for falling for the scam!
ReplyDeleteI will say, it is a little comforting seeing the few of you post - thank you!
Wow, had memories of my EST experiences “triggered” by hearing a John Denver song. My parents were sooo proud that John Denver had done EST. I too the kids course when I was probably 7 in probably 1973 in Los Angeles. My grandparents were the first to take it, then my parents, and then me. I was so young, my memories are sketchy, the main memory is of an exercise where we built a retreat in our minds, a safe place to escape to. I think most of the rest of it went over my head. My more concerning memories come from taking the teen 6-day when I was 13. I flew alone to San Francisco, met up with some other kids in the airport, took a bus into the city and tried to find a hotel room. There was a group of us wandering around a sketchy neighborhood in the middle of the night. We finally piled 7-10 of us into a disgusting room when the older ones proceeded to get drunk and watch horror movies. I (13 year old girl) was terrified and furious with my parents for putting me in this position.
ReplyDeleteI have always felt that I learned a lot from those experiences and that EST gave me some ways to cope with things, but I think that there are other ways to learn the same lessons.
I too attended est training for kids in the 70s in NYC. I don't remember much. I am guessing I was quite young. I do remember the training about dealing with headaches and crating a safe space to retreat to in your mind. My mom took me and dropped me off while she went to another room for adult est training. I think we went with friends as well but of course we were separated. The comments have really helped me to remember a bit more but still very fuzzy. We only did this once and that i am very glad about. My mother was a single mom and i am sure this was very expensive for us.
ReplyDeleteI attended as a child in Honolulu. I remember:
ReplyDeleteNo bathroom
Naming/color/etc headache
Staring at someone while standing in stage.
I had to speak w the trainer on the phone because I desperately didn’t want to go back after the first day. Somehow the trainer got me to come back for the rest of the experience. I remember feeling guilty because my mom paid $300- that must have been the trainer’s angle.